BUTT INSPECTOR
You're the least qualified intern at the Bottom Line Clinic. One finger, five patients a shift, and every one of them has opinions.
What is this?
BUTT INSPECTOR is a free cartoon medical comedy you play in your browser. You are the newest, least qualified intern at the Bottom Line Clinic, and the job is exactly what the name says: one gloved finger, a squishy toy-like exam, and five patients per shift who all have something to say about it.
There's no blood-and-guts realism here. The stage is a soft, toy-like set, the patients are cartoon portraits with opinions, and the real show is everything around the exam: a patient who live-streams his checkup, a retired surgeon holding up score cards, a fire drill at the worst possible moment, and a review at the end you'll want to screenshot.
A shift takes about five minutes. It runs on phones and desktops, needs no download or account, and your progress stays in your own browser.
On the schedule today
A few of the regulars. There are more. Some of them shouldn't be here at all.
Gary
Here for a checkup. Mostly here to talk.
Brenda
Brought snacks. For you. Eat something.
Captain Vlad
Personal trainer. Personally terrified.
Tyler
Streams everything. Yes, everything.
Dale
Knows there's a chip. Has receipts.
How it works
- 1. Drag
Press and hold, then guide one finger in. Slow and steady is the whole skill.
- 2. Listen
Patients react to everything you do. Too fast and they'll tell you. If they say stop, you stop.
- 3. Diagnose
Pick one of three diagnoses, be right or wrong with total confidence, then read the review they leave you.
Real medicine plays the straight man
The jokes are made up. The knowledge cards aren't: each one states a real fact about rectal exams and cites a public health source such as the NHS or the US National Cancer Institute. It's still a game, not medical advice.
See the sources →Daily shift
Every day, everyone gets the same five patients. Play it once, share a spoiler-free emoji report, and keep your streak alive.
TODAY'S SHIFTQuestions patients ask
›What kind of game is BUTT INSPECTOR?
A short, free comedy game in your browser. You play a hopeless clinic intern doing rectal exams on cartoon patients; the fun is in their reactions, the chaos in the clinic, and the reviews they leave.
›Can I play it on my phone?
Yes. It's built for one finger: drag on a phone, use a mouse on a desktop, or play with the keyboard only. No app, no download, no account.
›Is the medical stuff accurate?
The knowledge cards are, and each cites a public source. Everything else (the patients, the diagnoses you can pick, the clinic itself) is comedy. Nothing here is medical advice; if something's wrong, see a real doctor.
›Is it free? Is it for kids?
It's free, with no ads inside the game. It's made for grown-ups: cartoon style, mild gross-out humour, and a Low-Gross mode if you want it even cleaner.
›Why do the patients keep commenting on me?
Because you're not very good yet. Every patient has a personality and reacts to your speed, your pressure and where you poke. Be gentle, stop when asked, and the reviews get kinder.